Since I posted about a failed submission with MAD magazine, I decided to show off my failed attempt at being a writer for a Mock-Astrology site for an ex-SNL writer. Most of the material on there is very current event, or political which is not me. So for the jokes I submitted I just looked up headlines on Yahoo.com and then quipped on them. Some I like, some I'm sort of "meh" toward and one I totally love!
1) According to fivethirtyeight.com Obama leads McCain by 15 points in Popular Vote. 6 more points and he just may become a level 3 president. New spells learned at this level include "Veto!". (I'll tell you now...this is the joke I love!)
2) The Bush administration may take control of certain U.S. banks to deal with the global credit crisis. They are basing this on their success on taking over IRAQ to deal with the WMD's crisis.
Pres. Bush went on to say quote: "You can bank on that!" then he chuckled a bit. (Meh, just meh)
3) Jamie Lynn Spears may be pregnant again, which would explain why you still find her UNATTRACTIVE! (I love bashing Celebrities, especially when I barely know who they are.)
4) McCain is once again told by another band [Foo Fighters] to stop using their song for his campaign. This Blog suggests the opening to Rites of Spring by Igor Stravinsky. It's catchy and dead men can't complain. (I was rocking Rites of Spring quite a bit then.)
5) 2 people have broken the world record for continuous movie watching. They watched 57 films in 123 hours and have had 0 dates since 6th grade.
6) Kim Kardashian was recently voted off Dancing with the Stars. I guess she'll go back to what made her famous in the first place, and make another sex tape. (My friend Chontel claims that this joke is "not me" but it was meant to be hurtful toward Kim Kardashian because as we all know she frequently calls me and I need her to get the hint.)
I guess to be fair to myself these jokes didn't necessarily fail. I got a reply a month later (from the ex-SNL writer) saying that my jokes were great and that I made it to the top 20 applicants but she chose someone else (which is a super nice thing for someone to let you know...seriously.) Then she said how she had a position opened for her advice column. I tried but I am awful at that. I just kept making witty remarks and references. It's obvious I didn't get that, but cool how I had a shot at least.
Well I hope this was at least not boring for you (whoever you are). Lates.
-a.
Haha. I liked these jokes. I think you'd do good at that, actually. Maybe you should do a post every weekday where it can even be as simple as grabbing a random headline and "quipping" just for fun and to flex the writing muscle.
ReplyDeleteI could have just wrote you this in the email I intend to write you once I'm finished reading all your blog posts, but in case you listen to me I want the world to know it was MY IDEA!
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!