Regrets:

Before I was funny solo, I was in a sketch troupe that had an awesome name and did very little. We were The Square Foot and we had many great ideas that never came to fruition. We were young and lazy.

Surprisingly, the laziest (me) decided to take a sketch writing class at the Upright Citizens Brigade Training Center in NYC. Thanks to the class I was informed about Liquid Courage a (then) weekly Friday night show at midnight that lets sketch troupes practice their work in front of a live audience.

We showed up way too early and were let in to watch the troupe on stage. I was separated from the remaining square feet because I was caught off guard by seeing Paul Sheer on stage. This was long before Human Giant but still interesting because I knew him from Best Week Ever. Though he always made me laugh on that show he failed me greatly that night.

During a scene about dads looking for Christmas trees and lights, one asked for a tree like the one from the Lord of the Rings films. Then Paul Sheer decided to ask for a Death Star to place atop of the tree and he proceeded to say "it's the size of a small planet."

No! The Death Star is not the size of a small planet, but the size of a small moon. I so badly wanted to shout this and be the dick who thought greater of himself. But I let it go and to this day don't know why I did. I'd just love to brag about how I was a complete ass solely because someone mis-quoted and mis-sized the Death Star.

Oh, well.

Paul Sheer has redeemed himself by being probably as huge of a LOST fan as I am and always will be. So he's cool in my book.