I'll Tumblr 4 Ya

You read that horrible jokey title correctly — I have a tumblr account under the same name as this (ignored) blog! Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out. 

Quoth the Beastie Boys and Culture Club,

Nevermore... I mean Adam. 

Maybe one has a hearing impairment?

Today I walked by The Lucas Brothers (the twins from 22 Jump Street). Fun fact: both were rocking headphones but only one of them had a Beats headset. I guess the twin on the right makes more money. Hm. 

They're not as convincing as Devito and Schwarzenegger,

-Adam. 

A Silver Bullet!

Hurray! SkyNet a.k.a. Apple has come to their senses and tossed a solution from their ivory towers to us lowly peasants. The solution is a link ( http://support.apple.com/kb/HT6439?viewlocale=en_US&locale=en_US ) to let users delete the horrendous sounds of U2's latest bowel movement; Songs of Innocence. I strongly suggest you follow said link after you finish reading this post that's chock full of multiple analogies, references and run-on sentences! 

Silver bullets now kill Terminators?

Adam. 

U2 Songs are the New Terminators.

U2 is the band that keeps on giving. Literally, you cannot return the gift of their crappy music (Songs of Innocence). Thanks a lot, iCloud -- or should I say "SkyNet!?" I just wish Apple had a swank deal with Big Black. I really wouldn't mind hearing Kerosene for free.

Set me on fire,

Adam. 

It's only weird if you make it weird.

Attention, Internet! During my morning run, I happened upon the cutest squirrel in all of creation. He (or she) was prancing around with his/her head held up high as if there was a delightful song captured within his/her adorable heart. 

I'm in love. 

I'm not a "furry" but close,

Adam. 

Chapter One: The Monkees

"Davy Jones was a dick!"
Said the heavyset man wearing a fleece and leather loafers at the Psychedelic Furs show. Yes, he was quite over-weight but I just knew that he was truly weighed down by the chip on his shoulder as well as the blue windbreaker he carried over his left arm. It's as though he swapped all fashion sense for a strong disdain for the stars of yesterday. I would've hung around to hear more of his poisonous pontificating but I had a show to catch.


Nesmith was always the cool one,
Adam.

Joe Camus

Was it obvious that I was desperate for a post? Regardless, feel free to send me infinite fan mail because you love my Paint skillz.

No need to get lost in the supermarket when you could casually hear a woman fall from a bridge,

Adam.

I've gone rogue -- well, not quite...

Earlier today I pulled up to a red light just as Police on my Back by The Clash began to play from my mp3 player. Normally, once that snare hits, I am the living embodiment of Cruisin' USA. Today, however, things were quite different. You see, for roughly 90% of that excellent tune I was stationary at the stop light. No movement. Nothing. Then I thought to myself; "what if the police, were indeed, on my back? They would've apprehended me before the rockin' chorus!"


With my (brake) pedal firmly to the metal,
Adam.

Chapter One: Ottoman Empire

"The Ottoman Empire was a God damn capitalist!"

Said the nerd sitting near my table at the Chinese restaurant earlier tonight. 

Finally starting that novel that I've been putting off,

Adam. 

*** this is going to be a new segment on here. Where I will write up quotes I overhear and treat them as the opening line to a book. I call it "Chapter One."

"Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe..."

Each morning of mine begins with the same dilemma. I wrestle with with the thought/obligation of "should I go running this morning?" Of course I should but do I want to? After this one man debate, I usually end up giving in to the forces of cardio.

This morning was no different. I changed into my running gear (i.e. mesh shorts and sunglasses -- and of course a shirt!) and took to the streets with a swift sprint. After passing a good few blocks I heard probably one of the top sounds that no man wants to hear... the Deliverance theme.

Immediately my head was on a swivel as I was on red alert. I was looking everywhere for my assumed assailants,; yet nowhere could they be found. Eventually I pinpointed the music's origin but never ventured towards it. I just picked up the pace and never looked back.

Sheesh! Already my day has included a debate, exercise, and immense fear of sodomy. Luckily only the first two items took place. Whew!



No squealing for this guy,
Adam.

My Mother (and 2nd biggest fan) is Russia

Privet!

Last week when I blogged about my farewell to 30 Rock I did some sleuthing and discovered that the 2nd country to view my humble blog the most is Russia.

I had no idea that I was as popular as Karl Marx, Joseph Stalin and Ivan Drago rolled into one but apparently I am. So I want to take this moment to thank my Ruski-mates by saying it in their native tongue:

Bol'shoe spasibo

Also I would like to take this moment to issue a friendly open challenge to any of my Soviet fans to a game of chess. Feel free to fire your Alekhine guns my way, gang.



Yes, I did riddle this post with famous Russian names to garner more page views,
Adam.

30 Rock? More like... 8:30 O'Clock. (Nailed it!)

Tonight, another close friend has left and that friend is called 30 Rock. Tina Fey's brilliant creation has helped me in a multitude of ways and I'd list them here but I don't want to get all sentimental (Jack Donaghey wouldn't care for that -- well, from any episode but this last one, heh). So I'll just say "see you later" since we all know that I throw on a random disc to watch multiple episodes when I feel the urge to laugh or spit water from mouth (nyuk, nyuk, nyuk).


I'll miss Lutz most of all,
Adam.

Vive la intestine!

For those who know me; I hate touching gross things or getting stains on my lips and yet two days ago I went to the beach and happened to get the most minute amount of sea water in my mouth. Believe me I spit and gagged to ensure that every last loathsome droplet was expelled from my flawless mouth and now here I type diagnosed (by my mom who is a nurse) with dysentery.

Now dysentery is known to be the cause of death for many of Napoleon's troops when he was on his campaign through Egypt. So if this disease thwarts me I humbly ask my readers to make sure that when people speak of my passing that you always mention that I went down fighting like a Grenadier.



Certainly not volleying any grape shots,
Adam.

I don't just waste your time with the written word...

I also record sound, noise and music?


Space Marine 17 new demo = Unearthed E.P.



your welcome?
Adam.

He IS a Giant

In case you live in squaresville, this past Sunday was the Super Bowl (I won't reveal any spoilers) where two teams played for very elaborate rings; The Patriots and the winners The Giants. (Dammit, sorry... I slipped.)

A few days later the New York Giants had a parade in the most unusual of places - New York. Now some people I know did in fact go to this parade because they are that large a fan. I did not go because the only athletes I want to meet are professional wrestlers from the late seventies to early nineties. But that is besides the point; because I got to meet someone just as special as a real life NY Giant and that person is the NY Giants #1 Fan!

He drives a red Tacoma (because that is the one thing he is modest about) and is very eager to change lanes to get around slow drivers.

It was an honor to drive behind you for a long time down the expressway; and although we have parted ways I cannot help but feel that I shall see you zooming past many slow and poor team choosing motorists.



Although I'm technically a Jets "fan,"
Adam.

Lazy teens

Earlier today while driving I was forced to weave into the left lane only to return to the right lane because some young hooligan had to have his mom fill his van with gasoline on the side of the road. I am unsure what bothered me more; his fuel gauge dyslexia or the fact that he was wearing mesh shorts in frigid weather. Perhaps one day he'll understand the inner workings of petroleum and hopefully overcome his anti-climatic ignorance (yeah, I liked that too).



Warm with a full tank of gas,
Adam.

Facebook; keeping frowns hanging down.

Yahoo! News (the most trusted name in news) had what I believe to be such a frown-inducing article on a study done by Utah Valley University where they questioned 425 students on how they interpret the images of their friends on Facebook.

The losers (yeah, I said it) who were not currently in a relationship (gay or straight -- because it matters) were more likely to believe that their friends had a better life than they themselves did solely based on the amount and content of pictures they posted. Utah Valley University found a direct correlation between the time these misfits spent on Facebook to the amount of sadness they suffered from by viewing images of their friends living life and posting pictures of said life.

I for one love making people feel that way; which is why I always post pictures of myself giggling my way through a pillow fight atop a Ferris wheel!



With more laughs than feathers exploding from my pillows,
Adam.

Bullied and Blown Away

It is getting very cold outside all of a sudden so my exercising has somewhat declined. Yesterday while trying to remedy this I was frightened off by a rather cute looking dog who seemed to say "approach no further" with his big, black eyes and enigmatic face (that was underlined with an adorable handkerchief tied around his neck). I stopped running then cautiously took a step forward; the dog took a few trots toward me. I stopped again, pondered the situation then began to walk in the opposite direction in defeat. After some time I looked back to see the dog had also walked in the opposite direction a bit but was keeping his eye on me. So I began to take the long way home muttering to myself - lousy dog!

As my walk of shame approached it's denouement, I saw my neighbor James, he said he was excited for Halloween and that he was going to be a banana. I thought I was impressed with his costume until he finished his sentence by saying: "A Jamaican Banana. I'm going to wear a Rasta hat on top of my banana costume." At this moment I was truly impressed and hoped that one day my future child will be as creative as he is being come Halloween.

So big points to James for his outstanding Halloween costume, big lame points to the dog who was bored and decided to see if he was still bad ass (yes, you are as bad ass as you are cute - and I hate you for that, you adorable son of a bitch!).



Noticing that there is a direct connotation between a man's amount of self pride and the amount of bite marks he receives,

Adam.

So it begins...

Today marks the first day of me feeling so guilty about downloading music from artists (I've always loved or have recently been introduced to) that I've decided to not listen to burned cd's of there's. I will only listen to albums that I own tangible copies of. So far today I found State Songs by John Linnell (an album that has been a permanent fixture in my car, computer and head since last December) and Flood by They Might Be Giants. Both were $5 or less used!

So, Mr. John Linnell, if/when I meet you (and God knows I must and will) you can be slightly less irate with me snagging your music. But let's just please both agree that all the albums I've acquired of yours were long-time borrows. But like I said in the beginning of this post: I'm only listening to cd's I own, so "goodbye," CD-R's of theft, "hello," morality!


You can find me in the used section whining that there isn't any Red Lorry Yellow Lorry albums on the shelves,
Adam.

The Clash: Fashion & Flavor

I was just behind a woman at Target who spent a total of $231.41 on a large amount of clothes and Doritos.

I hope she is a designer hellbent on having dusty, orange streaks on all of her new fall apparel.


Haven't had a Dorito since Vitamin C was on the top of the Billboard charts,
Adam.