I (poorly) Mock Headlines

Katy Perry tweets: "I'm not pregnant." If I had a cell phone I'd tweet: "I don't care!"

Some industries will bounce back as the economy improves, but these jobs are likely gone forever; Jester, Steve Guttenberg impersonator, and filling in for Jay Leno.

Jennie Shapira's project, "The Cost of Silence: A Study Examining the 'Telling' Behavior of Victims of Bullying," earned her $1,000. And yet I got paid $0, for being spit on in 10th grade. NOTE: I never told on Paul.

Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles top Forbes' annual list of Hollywood's top-earning couples. See which other Tinseltown twosomes bring in the biggest bucks! After seeing this list, I can only assume that Donnie and Marie Osmond weren't picked because they are family.

Sorry. My jokes are bland at best lately. Uhgghghghghghgh...

Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squekquel

If you like the hit song by Beyonce' "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" but always desired to hear her vocals at a much higher pitch, than this movie is for you.

-a.