Dream Job #2

My favorite firearm is Alekhine's Gun.

My 2nd most desired dream job is being a Chess Grand Master. I'm not one for traveling but I'm certain that it's because when I travel it is not to solely play chess...I also am deathly scared to fly. But if I was a Grand Master I'd travel allover the globe just to play people who do not speak the same language as me, but can read chess notation with ease (and scientists say the only universal language is math...screw you guy from Contact).

What prevents me from being a Chess Grand Master is my age. Apparently you should start at a very, very young age because a child's mind is like clay and you can mold it with any sort of knowledge for it to retain. My rock hard brain is much tougher to absorb the delicate strategies of the French Defense and all of it's variations, but I still read up on it, practice and (attempt to) execute them.

Now that I let out my biggest secrets/vulnerabilities (i.e. lack of chess knowledge and my one opening I know--for black of all colors) you can start each game as white and not do e4 and certainly not follow it with d4. If emoticons were accepted in the chess world, here is where I'd place a colon and an open parenthesis. But in stead I'll write:
1. e4 e6 2. d4 d5 3. Nc3 Bb4 4. e5 c5 5. Bd2 Ne7 6. Nb5 Bxd2+ 7. Qxd2 0–0 8. c3 b6 9. f4 Ba6 10. Nf3 Qd7 11. a4 Nbc6 12. b4 cxb4 13. cxb4 Bb7 14. Nd6 f5 15. a5 Nc8 16. Nxb7 Qxb7 17. a6 Qf7 18. Bb5 N8e7 19. 0–0 h6 20. Rfc1 Rfc8 21. Rc2 Qe8? 22. Rac1 Rab8 23. Qe3 Rc7 24. Rc3 Qd7 25. R1c2 Kf8 26. Qc1 Rbc8 27. Ba4 b5 28. Bxb5 Ke8 29. Ba4 Kd8 30. h4! h5 31. Kh2 g6 32. g3 (Zugzwang) 1-0
(the sad face emoticon is a mirror of assumption for black--note: he used the French opening also--my favorite variation too!)

-a.