Boston tea Party

It's been over 50 days and the oil spill in the Gulf (allegedly) caused by BP is still the only thing people keep talking about. Everyone keeps blaming Tony Hayward and asking what he plans to do to fix it. The man just wants his life back, and I believe that he's learned an important lesson here:

Don't be so eager to mimic 1773's Boston Tea Party with oil and have it be pumped into the water as opposed to dumping it. You just may have put one too many "spins" on this "impression," Tony, to make it your own and it seems to have been lost in translation.

I learned this lesson the hard way as well when I once pissed in the ocean just before "the man" slapped me a ticket for indecent exposure. Not surprisingly, my account had just as much impact on our culture and headlines.

I'd like to take this moment and thank Tony for this clusterfuck that finally got the heat off of me much like how I'm sure Samuel Adams was thankful for me getting the heat off of him.

Apologies, Aquaman.

-a.

Aardvark does it again!

I got to help someone from India who asked me what I considered to be the greatest Comedy TV show. So I wrote:

"I'd like to think the greatest Comedy TV show ever would be one that did not overstay its welcome, one that was consistently funny and also intelligent.

I believe that Arrested Development hit all of these marks. The show was very quick witted, and had such smart humor in it. If you watched an episode once then immediately re-watched it you would notice hilarious jokes said under one's breath or in the background that you'd miss the 1st time.

Absolutely brilliant!

I'd want to give this award to the Simpsons, but after like season 9 or 10 it started lacking, and after 13 it's just been all Republican and Religion jokes.

Enjoy!"


What a great invention. I love you, Aardvark!


-a.

Finish it already!!

Another Mortal Kombat movie? Why?

I must admit this looks the most interesting of the ones they've made so far, but it certainly lacks the real story. It's apparent that they want to make a Mortal Kombat film with the feel of the Dark Knight. I can't blame them, but I just don't see this doing well (especially after they killed off my favorite character in the trailer.)

To my greatest fan,
Cage.

Whoops, I mean:

-a.

Another Writing Contest!

Yep, NBC has one called Writers on the Verge; which is very much like the WB Workshop where top prize is being selected to attend a bi-weekly (that's two times a week) course.

It's a great opportunity and I suggest you all write, write, write-- and submit!

-a.

Justified Rambles

Super Pals Mike and Tim suggested I join a site called Aardvark (vark.com). It's a site that lets you sign up and claim expertise on specific topics. then people from around the globe ask you questions that are germain to your areas of expertise. You then answer them back and get evaluated on how helpful/knowledgeable you are.

My areas of expertise are: Star Wars, Comedy and Lord of the Rings. Just recently I realized that I could add LOST; and did. This morning I awoke to find that a man from Canada asked me what the ending to LOST was. I was hesitant to tell him and told him he should really watch the series. I figured he wouldn't but felt like talking about LOST anyway so I wrote for over an hour straight (leaving out sub plots).

I love you, aardvark, you make it necessary for me to lecture about things I love and can no longer speak about in front of my non-geeky friends.

-a.

Trenchcoat guy from 2001 (you know who you are)

Do you still listen to the "punk" band the Ataris? (note: he mispronounced the name as "At-aR-isss") And do you still believe in the powers of alchemy?

Just curious is all.

-a.

Suxaphone

I usually rent a bunch of DVD's from my local library quite frequently, and today on my way home after returning a stack of five films I was rocking out to Ink & Paper by Modern English and once that bridge hit, I got my usual case of nausea due to the saxaphone playing.

I just don't get it; why do such great bands like Bauhaus, The Cure and David Bowie feel the urge to add some saxophone to a track. Easily the last idea I have for anything is to apply some saxophone sounds to a situation.

It just comes off so cheesy to me, and not just Rock cheesy like Final Countdown but really cheesy. Like so cheesy it's gross and I feel the need for a shower or some sort of bouffant to match the sax.

-a.