Babs or REO Speedwagon?

gLee auditions!!!!

Get your pipes and tights ready for this one. I'm fairly certain that I (or one of my many characters) will be auditioning for this.

It all comes down to what song to sing:

Barbara Streisand - Don't Rain on my Parade

OR

REO Speedwagon - Can't Fight This Feeling

Please help me decide, people.


-a.

Paris Hilton vs Stephanie Pratt

In October of 2009 at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards, Paris Hilton wore a Brian Lichtenberg one-shoulder mini dress.

Fast forward to February 2010 in Las Vegas, and that skank bag Stephanie Pratt is wearing the very same Brian Lichtenberg number.

This is why Hollywood and Washington must allow patents on dresses! We cannot have skank-a-doodles flopping around poseur red carpets wearing the same items that gorgeous starlets are wearing at actual award shows.

Hear my words Ms. Pratt; you better watch out the next time you choose something from your closet because if the great Paris Hilton ever wore it before I will hunt you down and slaughter you like the skanky dog you are!

-a.

Watch The Hair, Man

“I happened to turn it [American Idol] on during the minute that Adam Lambert was singing ‘Ring of Fire’ and, at that moment, thought my ears would bleed.”

That folks, is a quote from the world’s largest shit licker: Clay Aiken. He goes on to say other false opinions regarding The Adam Lambert such as: “Not my cup of tea.”

Why not Clay? Is it because he isn’t filled with shit, you lame-ass, Pee Wee Herman looking shit licker? From now on your nick name around here will be based on your biggest hobby. Since you love to lick shit, your nick name shall forever be: Shit Licker!

Now I don’t need to tell you how upset, appalled, hurt, angered, used, defiled, and above all else defeated I feel after this week’s American Idol finals. The powers that be (worthless execs at FOX and the dumbest members of this nation) chose this year’s Idol to be some guy (with bad hair) who I refuse to say his name because he is NOT The Adam Lambert. This non-Adam Lambert is a simple “Pub Performer” (yea I said it) with bad hair, (yea I said it again!) and enjoys nothing more than to steal the spotlight with his half-assed performances. I for one cannot believe that the judges* didn’t try to veto this outrageous decision.

And now Shit Licker’s statements regarding The Adam Lambert are only adding insult to injury (like messing someone's hair in a fight). How would you like it Shit Licker if your favorite human being lost something (like their life) and all I had to say about it was that said person was “not my cup of tea.” You’d be an angry shit licker, wouldn’t you Shit Licker?

In mock of your real name and so as that I may reference ClayFighter; I hope someone soon performs a Clayality upon you. So beware of any Bad Mr. Frosty’s or Blue Suede Goo’s coming your way. And above all else Shit Licker: “Watch the hair, man!”

-a.

*After this year’s finale I believe that we have irrefutable proof that these "judges" have literal “Shit for brains”. Never has there been such a travesty unleashed upon this great nation . Yep, this is even worse than that time Sanjaya was voted off.