10) Runescape: Apparently there is a free Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game or "MMORPG" (now you know--Dad!). Normally I'm against most new games because by default they suck, but I really appreciate the free aspect of this game. I don't play it, and no, not because I think I'm too cool for it. Why, just before I decided to write today's entry, I was researching HeroQuest.
9) NASCAR: Hahahahahahahahaha...
8) Kim Kardashian: I've already blogged my dislike toward this useless lady, but Yahoo claims people are Googling (is that possible?) her. Why they would want to waste their time reading up on her instead of reading my words is beyond me. I honestly cannot get over that she is a top 10 search subject. Shame on you America.
7) American Idol: It's seriously so hard to not have all of these share the same comment I put for #9. Judging from #8, it is safe to assume that America loves to research useless people.
6) Naruto: Hahahahahahahahahaha...seriously? I still think I'm cooler for researching a "dead" board game earlier!!!
5) Britney Spears: Still? Is America still that interested in her? Come on guys.
4) Megan Fox: I have yet to see a film of hers, but I can assure you as well as myself that it sucks. I don't see the whole hubbub about her. Her tattoos disgust me, but if I have to fill in a score card for her, I'd be forced to fill in something positive about her eyes. That's it!
3) WWE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...this list must be a joke. Quick history lesson, I loved wrestling from 87-91 maybe 92. Then I learned it was fake and Hogan wasn't around much so I ditched it. Came back in 98 and absolutely loved the art of it until 2000~2001. It's been a joke since. No wrestlers take risks anymore (thanks Vince) people like Rey Mysterio Jr. who were unbelievable in the 90's are no longer making jaws drop. It's sad. Now if #3 was FMW then yea, I could understand that. Thanks again America, enjoy watching John Cena bitch about not getting as good a parking spot as Randy Orton come Wrestlemania 26.
2) Twilight Saga: I don't see it. Yes, vampires are cool, and yes, Dawnson's Creek is cool, but they should never be mixed. Twilight sucks...get it? I wonder how many dad's said that terrible joke while waiting on the midnight showing line at the movies. My guess is "a lot."
1) Michael Jackson: if he didn't die he'd not be on this list. So Yahoo has taught me a few things about being noticed by America; make a sex tape, have big tits, or die.
I can make a sex tape, and die, but getting myself a nice rack may be tough to pull off, especially if they get in my way of typing what I'm aiming to be the top search of 2010; HeroQuest. 20 years late is a lot better than being popular for only this year--right Kim?
-a.
Showing posts with label Britney Spears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Britney Spears. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Happy Birthday Britney!!!
So today is my mom’s birthday and blah, blah,blah. People today is also BRITNEY SPEARS’ BIRTHDAY! And I for one am jazzed more than Karl Malone and John Coltrane combined! Some of you may think that I’m being cruel but I don’t see my mom making top 40 hits. I don’t see my mom writing lyrics like: “Now I’m stronger than yesterday.” And I don’t see my mom as much as I see Britney on TV!
Now here is where I speak out to my Brit-brit.
Britney I saw you on Good Morning America this morning and you were breathtaking. The most memorable moment was surely when the bakers unveiled your cake and the one baker shook your hand, wished you a "happy birthday", and you…you selfless person you, you gave him (gasp!) a kiss on the cheek. (Oh my stars what I wouldn’t give for a moment like that)
Britney you’re voice is like a gift from Galadriel herself; for you have been a guiding light through my most dark of times. (Screw off Shelob!!!)
Britney I assure you that when you first broke out onto the scene that I was NOT the guy working at Toys “R” Us being mocked for finding you repulsive. I also swear that I NEVER once claimed that your large, saggy eyes were reminiscent of an ill puppy. And finally I NEVER once stated that you look very much like an inbred.
In closing; Britney on every calendar I own I circle December 2nd in a red heart. But this year I will start tagging on an arrow through it for Cupid has surely struck my H-E-A-R-T with his arrow of L-O-V-E. Now please excuse me my dear while I draw the arrow onto the heart over 12/2/08.
OH MY!
My calendar also says that it is officially “opposite day” today. Well in that case: A Very Happy Un-Birthday To You MOM!
Love,
The Mad Hatter…I mean Adam…your son.
Now here is where I speak out to my Brit-brit.
Britney I saw you on Good Morning America this morning and you were breathtaking. The most memorable moment was surely when the bakers unveiled your cake and the one baker shook your hand, wished you a "happy birthday", and you…you selfless person you, you gave him (gasp!) a kiss on the cheek. (Oh my stars what I wouldn’t give for a moment like that)
Britney you’re voice is like a gift from Galadriel herself; for you have been a guiding light through my most dark of times. (Screw off Shelob!!!)
Britney I assure you that when you first broke out onto the scene that I was NOT the guy working at Toys “R” Us being mocked for finding you repulsive. I also swear that I NEVER once claimed that your large, saggy eyes were reminiscent of an ill puppy. And finally I NEVER once stated that you look very much like an inbred.
In closing; Britney on every calendar I own I circle December 2nd in a red heart. But this year I will start tagging on an arrow through it for Cupid has surely struck my H-E-A-R-T with his arrow of L-O-V-E. Now please excuse me my dear while I draw the arrow onto the heart over 12/2/08.
OH MY!
My calendar also says that it is officially “opposite day” today. Well in that case: A Very Happy Un-Birthday To You MOM!
Love,
The Mad Hatter…I mean Adam…your son.
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