More Spontaneous Jokes

Still trying to get through the cobwebs here:

Kardashian family's Christmas photo includes a celebrity they're not related to. I'll give you two hints; it's Opposite Day and it's not Dabney Coleman.

An airbrushed ad of former supermodel Twiggy leads to a government action because she had Mao Zedong watermarked on her ass. Models today think people look to them for political insight. Tsk, tsk.

A group calling itself the Iranian Cyber Army has hacked Twitter and an Iranian opposition website, replacing it with an anti-American message. The U.S. has plans to respond swiftly by hiring 7th graders to reply with "Iran is GAY!" on Obama's blog.

The Team Fortress 2 War updates have finally been revealed. Sadly, none of them include this game being completely altered to be Chrono Trigger.

The creator of “American Idol,” Simon Fuller, is developing a new reality show. No plots have been revealed yet, but it is safe to assume that it will include the mindless masses worshiping more useless people.

Better? I'll be better next week, I swear.

-a.

A Glimpse of a Star - Kim Kardashian

Now that I am a "celebrity" (see last post regarding my being on TV). I have come across some interesting items such as Kim Kardashian's resume. Check it out:

KIM KARDASHIAN

Kim Kardashian is a published model and "actress." She has been on TV like 4 times, and is on every red carpet because her step dad did some stuff in an old Olympics game.



Experience:
"Sex Tape" .............................................Self..................................Vivid Entertainment
"Keeping Up With the Kardashians" .................Self........................... Ryan Seacrest Productions
"Dancing With the Stars" (Season 7-3 eps).........Self ..................................ABC

Training:
Zero. Can you believe that? This girl has all the bare minimum talent necessary to do the things she has done!

Skills:
See above.


Now obviously, I had to leave out her contact info because Ms. Kardashian likes to keep her anonymity (ignoring the sex tape that catapulted her to the stars...to dance with?).

Now you may be saying to yourself: "this bitch has NO talent." And you'd be right to think so, IF you were NEVER on TV before. I for one have NEVER seen someone play the role of them self so perfectly. Could any of you have sex with a man, then get on a reality show where the little folk of America watch you dance and brand you a "star" (for 3 episodes)? I think not.

I for one applaud you Ms. Kardashian. You were my inspiration for getting on TV, and playing the role of myself as casually as I could. Sadly, noone wanted to have sex or dance poorly while doing so though. Those talentless bastards!

-a.