007 was 00 Scared

I didn’t own a computer until the year 2000. But that did not stop me from playing / obsessing over DOOM in 1993. I would constantly go over my friend Brett’s house to play the shareware version he had (which was about 7 floppy disks of shotgun toting excitement!). From there came DOOM II, Final DOOM, Quake, Duke Nukem , Resident Evil, GoldenEye etc. etc. etc. Any game that had you sporting a gun and freely shooting stuff deserved my time.

Thanks to those games and living a sheltered life; when asked my position on gun control I’d reply with: “Guns are cool!”. Clearly me and every southerner had 1 thing in common (outside of hating carpetbaggers!!!).

Come 2004 I visited my sister, Faith and her family in North Carolina for the birth of my middle nephew, Maxwell. At that time she was living in Camp Lejeune since her husband was a Marine. On our 4^th day spent over my sister, mom, and 2 nephews went out shopping while my dad, brother-in-law and I went to a local shooting range for some expensive fun.

The whole car ride there, all I could think of was owning a gun, and calling my friend Kristen over. Then as she’d open the door to enter I would re-enact the James Bond intro (where he walks, then suddenly turns and shoots first at the man who had him in his scopes). Naturally the gun wouldn’t be loaded and I just couldn’t help from laughing about how funny it would be for her to get scared from me playing 007.

(Now a brief lesson in age difference:

My 26 year old brother-in-law, Greg wanted to use a Glock because it was the new standard issue for an FBI agent. When he asked me what gun I wanted to use I said:

“I’d like a Berretta, please.”

“Why the Berretta? It’s small and not too strong.”

“Well I want to use it because that’s the gun they use in Resident Evil.”

“Ah.” He said. Knowing that I will forever be a loser, whereas I saw myself as cool as the Punisher for knowing that I would soon be holding in my right hand…a real gun!)

When I finally got my hands around that sweet, sweet piece of steel, I still felt cool, but scared. Sure everyone around me was playing by the same rules of “when the light is red you are to take out the clip and always aim your gun skyward while you walk to a different station.” Here I was 20 years old and all I had to do was just put the clip in, aim at a target and take fire…oh and be crazy. Luckily for everyone there and contrary to popular belief…I'm not crazy. But what scared me was that someone else there could very well be deranged and decide to do what I was only thinking of.

Luckily we made it out alive and I got to sport a Berretta just like Jill Valentine, sadly though I didn’t once think of myself as Chris Redfield, but that’s a totally different blog post all in its own.

Oh and in case you were wondering Kristen, after that day I no longer daydream of scaring you with an unloaded gun.

Enjoy!

-a. (a.k.a. 007)

Those Rebels Won't Escape Us

I once traveled to New Jersey with my friends to meet a brave soldier. His name was (and still is) Ken Colley, but always will be known to me as "Admiral Piett."

Before entering the convention all life forms are required to pay 25 credits as an entry fee, after handing over my money to the Klingon, I made sure to take in the nerd-scape. Soaking up the sights of fellow fans who have escaped from their parents basement to purchase items that will further their stay there, and then I found him. He was sitting there drinking a beer and eating a salad. I cautiously approached and in doing so I accidentally startled him. I wonder if it was because I was breathing heavy or because my heart was pounding, either way he certainly was freaked (and I am certainly out of shape). I then asked him to sign my two Star Wars CCG cards of him ("Captain Piett" and "Admiral Piett"). He obliged most humbly, and refused to charge me for his signature because he felt uncomfortable charging me $10 a piece for two small cards to be signed. He then said “if anyone asks, you gave me money.” Not only was one of the highest ranking officials in the Imperial Navy signing my cards and shaking my hand, but he was doing it for free, and sticking it to the people running the convention making him charge money.

I thanked him and walked away.

Sure there were tons of things I would’ve loved to ask him, but I wanted to ask Admiral Piett those questions, not Ken Colley.

Sure I could have asked questions like: “so how does it make you feel knowing that your nephew Captain Sarkli, was once a prominent member of the Rogue Squadron headed by non other than Luke Skywalker and Wedge Antilles?” or “During the Battle of Endor, did you want to go against Emperor Palpatine’s order of just trapping the rebels near the Death Star II and having the Superlaser Mark II pick them off? Or were you pleased with his wishes?”

Of course I want these questions answered. But instead of asking them and having an elderly man politely reply with “I do not know,” I’d rather keep these questions inside of me. Hidden far better than any Death Star plans ever were.

-a.