Yahoo's Top Ten Dating Tips: He's Not the One

Yahoo has a Top Ten Dating Tips: He's Not the One posted today and I can't help but be confused over a few of them:

3. You avoid conflict at any cost. This is actually you being a great mate. Seriously, your boyfriend has no need to be a shitty one, if you're doing everything right.

5. One of you is struggling with an addiction. If his addiction is "being a shitty boyfriend," then you guys are in some serious trouble.

9. You're not attracted to him. Then why are you with him? What are you drunk 24/7? If so, then perhaps you suffer from #5.

10. On paper he seems great, but you have this strange feeling... Of course, everyone on paper is a level 16 Wizard, but in real life we are all lazy geeks who never actually gained all that experience sitting around for hours slaying imaginary beasts with enchanted swords while being beeped by our mom that it's time to go home. I told you, Mom, I won't come home until I get the Armour of Confidence!

-a.

Healthy as a Cybernetic Horse

Super Pal Chontel fixed my computer. She's my personal Rebel Tech.

Thanks for fixing R2, Chontel!

I am much healthier than my computer.

My computer got a damn virus today. It's more than likely my fault for constantly downloading Dreamcast ISO's and mp3's (I seriously have a problem with loving bootlegs too much). Now I've been downloading as many free anti-anything softwares as I can. I seem to have the virus at bay (sort of).

But while combating this digital disease, I keep wondering; "Did R2-D2 ever start to operate at a much slower speed due to a virus?" I'd have to assume that R2 has a great chance and that's because he was never updated after Episode IV: A New Hope. Luke wanted it like that so R2 and Luke's X-Wing (Red 5) would operate at a greater rate/speed and never lose that "connection."

Sorry for the tangent. I'll get back to fighting evil one's and zero's.

-a.

Judges Outrank Dungeon Masters? Since When?

HILARIOUS!

Apparently a court has banned the use of Dungeons & Dragons for inmates because it gives off a gang vibe since in the game someone is considered the "Dungeon Master."

I guess no level 12 Elves will be shanked in the showers today, just poor old Frank.

:(

-a.

Curse you, Titanic!!!!!....STILL!!!!!!!

Things are quiet over here. Not much to do or say after you celebrated your 100th post three days ago. Nothing new in the news either; Jets lost, and people are buzzing about Avatar still.

Apparently Avatar is only $2 million behind James Cameron's other boring movie; Titanic, and the Americas cannot stop gossiping about it.

Is there anyone who is still mourning the sad fact that Titanic beat out Star Wars all those years ago? Am I the only Snow Trooper who stayed behind on Hoth?

Echo Base is a lonely place when you got nothing but Wampas hanging about.

I'm A Hacker's Worst Enemy

Imperva, a company who makes software for blocking hackers, says that they've been tracking PC users passwords since the 90's and most people use the same lame PW's. Here are a few:

123456
12345
123456789
password
iloveyou
princess

The list of boring and banal passwords continues on and on. Now if a hacker would want to hack my account(s) he/she would get nowhere fast. For you see, I am a nerd and my passwords aren't even real words or phrases of this world. Also my Yahoo account is impenetrable, I cannot say why on my blog, but if you see me on the street ask, if I'm feeling sprinty I'll theek. ;)

Credit for Yahoo's article here (if you'd like to read this and not laugh)

YIPPY! This has been my 100th post! I couldn't have done it without my God given talent and occasional two readers. Thank you so much!

-a.

This Is Who We Are

Yes, I am pursuing comedy/script writing. Yes, what I'm about to post of was not on my top 5 dream jobs list (see earlier blog entries). Yes, it's totally awesome!

Super Pal Chontel and I have started a "musical" project ("musical" is used very loosely). The name of our project is This Is Who We Are (Millennium reference) and we will be recording synth and chinese flute over sound clips from our favorite sci-fi shows (e.g. Twilight Zone, LOST, Millennium, X-Files, Twin Peaks, etc.).

If you like poor musicianship, over cool sound clips, then this "music" is for you.

This Is Who We Are

Nickelodeon Fellowship induces headaches!!!

Is anyone else out there trying to write up a nice resume and bio about yourself? Possibly sitting with their three "finished" specs each day trying to decipher which one is best? It's so annoying, but oh, so worth it. And this is only my first fellowship!

Perhaps someone who writes and stumbles across my site could help. Here are my specs and the pros and cons of each:

The Office: My first one. I feel it has the most jokes, but sadly doesn't have enough room for me to update it with Jim being a co-manager with Michael.

Big Bang Theory: My second spec (and favorite). But it is outdated thanks to Leonard and Howard's current storyline! And my spec has NOTHING if I try to adapt it to the current story for them.

Modern Family: My latest one, so I'm partial to it. Sadly, I think I may have Jay be too "mean" when talking to Mitchell. I'm trying to fix that but other things seem to crumble, and I fear that I should be trimming/punching my Office or Big bang Theory specs.

I just cannot seem to focus.

I'm also looking for 1/2" and/or 3/4" brass fasteners. If anyone finds a website that carries both, it would be greatly appreciated for you to send a link (note: I check daily).

Besides the specs themselves I need to write up why I'm diverse in 25 words or less, and other items such as that.

This will be worth it though, when I'm a finalist living in LA (positive thinking!!!!)


frazzled,
adam.

Rihanna and I are just like that.

After a tough year, Rihanna starts fresh with a new friend, lots of smiles, and a new 'do. After my tough year of unemployment, I completely forgot that yesterday was Monday, and never updated the blog. I guess you're the Yin to my Yang, Rihanna.

What a crazy start to the middle of the first month.

Day Dreamin'

"If I was a lion tamer, I'd so want to branch out of my field into newer (and more dangerous) horizons."

That was the old me - don't believe me, just ask my friend Jeff the lightning tamer. Oh, wait, you can't - because he's dead!

I (poorly) Mock Headlines

Katy Perry tweets: "I'm not pregnant." If I had a cell phone I'd tweet: "I don't care!"

Some industries will bounce back as the economy improves, but these jobs are likely gone forever; Jester, Steve Guttenberg impersonator, and filling in for Jay Leno.

Jennie Shapira's project, "The Cost of Silence: A Study Examining the 'Telling' Behavior of Victims of Bullying," earned her $1,000. And yet I got paid $0, for being spit on in 10th grade. NOTE: I never told on Paul.

Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles top Forbes' annual list of Hollywood's top-earning couples. See which other Tinseltown twosomes bring in the biggest bucks! After seeing this list, I can only assume that Donnie and Marie Osmond weren't picked because they are family.

Sorry. My jokes are bland at best lately. Uhgghghghghghgh...

Avatar, still?

I can't believe people are still talking about Avatar. I got to admit that when I saw it (not by my choosing) it was better than I assumed. But it's nothing to dissect. Yes, the CGI is amazing in it. Yes, it holds one's interest for the length of the entire film. But what impresses me the most is that it was (somewhat) original. Hollywood hasn't had an idea since the Matrix.

Sadly, during the previews prior to Avatar, they had a trailer for Clash of the Titans. No one is asking for a remake of that film. So why do it? All Hollywood can do now is remakes and (atrocious) films on comic books and video games (save Nolan's Batman and Silent Hill).

Do what I do, never go to the movies unless you actually are interested in the film. Perhaps the drop in box office revenue will show the walk of fame that you can't shit in a can and call it Terminator: Salvation (Note: never seen it, but I guarantee it sucks).

A Well Deserved Apology.

My camcorder (Sony Handycam DCR-HC26) has been on the fritz as of late, so before it possibly dies, I have been transferring over all the videos I can. While doing so, I have come across some atrocious nights of my early stand up career (when I actually told jokes - pssshhhh....) and I just want to give out a large "I'm so sorry" to all my friends who decided to set fire to fun and watch me.

Apologies.

-a.

First the Olympics, and now Politics

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?

President Obama wants to make a lame speech on a Tuesday. But he's torn between the Tuesday that LOST premieres on , and the Tuesday that American Idol premieres on. Apparently the dumb-ass White House is unsure what show to bump in order for Obama to not divulge secrets on Jacob and his connection to the island.

I cannot believe that my most favorite show and my most hated are the two in this debate. The answer is simple; bump American idol. Now here's how I reached that conclusion; 1) We do NOT need to see more failures on TV. 2) LOST actually has a plot and is well written, where as American Idol will have a box of douche bags doing glorified karaoke in front of judges who do not count as people.

Obama, please leave LOST alone or I will be pulling for some immediate change in Washington. That's right, I'm willing to register to vote AGAINST you, if you putz around with LOST's premiere.

-a.

This just in!

After reading lines from A Tale of Two Cities such as this:

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known."

I realized that Charles Dickens was in fact, the original Chuck D.



Sorry Public Enemy.

-a.

LOST theme at Disney!!??

I've never had an interest to go to Disney Land. But now that I know I could get LOST, that changes EVERYTHING!!


-a.

Cops bust runaway crook, thanks to game.

A criminal thought he was safe fleeing to Canada, but his World of Warcraft habit gave him away.

The above line is all to familiar to me. You know, I was once "on the lamb" and got caught when I was challenged to a hardy game of Battleship. I was riding high on the waves of victory. All I had to do was shout "B7!" But before I could, the room was swarming with policemen, who played a game of their own called "bust this guy - hard!" Sadly I was unfamiliar with the rules and ended up serving 2 - 5 years in juvi. Oh well.

The real article if you find me unfunny.

-a.

Yahoo's 5 Steps to De-Cluttering Your House (and life)

The real link, if you'd rather not laugh.

1) Set Small Goals: Any goal is a goal. But setting large ones such as; "I will get a job today" are very difficult to obtain. So keep it simple. My goal today is to hopefully clean my computer area. By using (and stressing) the term "hopefully" I get a loop hole out of actually achieving my goal.

2) Make a Plan: Write down the goal(s) you just said aloud. If I were you though, I'd start with just one goal, and see how that plays out.

3) Don't Blame Yourself: The cluttered areas in your house aren't just your fault (unless you live alone). Take me for instance; I had my three nephews, sister and brother-in-law over recently, and all five of them use the computer. So I wasn't the only one leaving scraps of paper strewn about. I am not a slob, and I am hopefully taking control. (See what I did there?)

4) Divide and Conquer: Set your piles of crap into three separate piles: "toss," "keep," and "donate." For example I have a piece of paper here with my (weak) top score in Tiger-Heli (92,150) now that score is a joke, but I'm new to playing that game so it stays because I'll never remember that number and won't know if I topped it with my next session. I also have a pair of socks on the desk here that I've yet to put on. Guess which pile those are in. Yup!

5) Stick With It: Don't just set and hopefully achieve goals for today. Do this fun task everyday! Think of all the extra smiles your mouth will be producing when you set the bar and possibly clear it. Think about it.

-a.