Bullied and Blown Away

It is getting very cold outside all of a sudden so my exercising has somewhat declined. Yesterday while trying to remedy this I was frightened off by a rather cute looking dog who seemed to say "approach no further" with his big, black eyes and enigmatic face (that was underlined with an adorable handkerchief tied around his neck). I stopped running then cautiously took a step forward; the dog took a few trots toward me. I stopped again, pondered the situation then began to walk in the opposite direction in defeat. After some time I looked back to see the dog had also walked in the opposite direction a bit but was keeping his eye on me. So I began to take the long way home muttering to myself - lousy dog!

As my walk of shame approached it's denouement, I saw my neighbor James, he said he was excited for Halloween and that he was going to be a banana. I thought I was impressed with his costume until he finished his sentence by saying: "A Jamaican Banana. I'm going to wear a Rasta hat on top of my banana costume." At this moment I was truly impressed and hoped that one day my future child will be as creative as he is being come Halloween.

So big points to James for his outstanding Halloween costume, big lame points to the dog who was bored and decided to see if he was still bad ass (yes, you are as bad ass as you are cute - and I hate you for that, you adorable son of a bitch!).



Noticing that there is a direct connotation between a man's amount of self pride and the amount of bite marks he receives,

Adam.

So it begins...

Today marks the first day of me feeling so guilty about downloading music from artists (I've always loved or have recently been introduced to) that I've decided to not listen to burned cd's of there's. I will only listen to albums that I own tangible copies of. So far today I found State Songs by John Linnell (an album that has been a permanent fixture in my car, computer and head since last December) and Flood by They Might Be Giants. Both were $5 or less used!

So, Mr. John Linnell, if/when I meet you (and God knows I must and will) you can be slightly less irate with me snagging your music. But let's just please both agree that all the albums I've acquired of yours were long-time borrows. But like I said in the beginning of this post: I'm only listening to cd's I own, so "goodbye," CD-R's of theft, "hello," morality!


You can find me in the used section whining that there isn't any Red Lorry Yellow Lorry albums on the shelves,
Adam.

The Clash: Fashion & Flavor

I was just behind a woman at Target who spent a total of $231.41 on a large amount of clothes and Doritos.

I hope she is a designer hellbent on having dusty, orange streaks on all of her new fall apparel.


Haven't had a Dorito since Vitamin C was on the top of the Billboard charts,
Adam.

I also write and record music!?!

Yeppers. Check it out or not, whatever.

Space Marine 17

enjoy?


Banging heads with my dad over what music is and should be for too many years now,
-Adam.

John Enbom, you brilliant son of a bitch!

I just got done watching the awesome Starz series; Party Down for the second time with my super pal Kristen and when watching the episode Joel Munt's Big Deal Party I caught on to a reference to Admiral Nelson.

The first time I watched the series I was reading a book on Napoleon's Egypt Campaign with no knowledge on his nemesis Admiral Nelson. Of course this ignorance had me suffer from missing out on a sweet reference to Nelson's heroism at Trafalgar. But now that I'm 320 something pages into one of his many biographies, my ears pick up when I hear someone mention that a battle they are writing for an upcoming sci-fi flick is "based on Nelson at Trafalgar."

John, you wrote the script so kudos. Dave "Gruber" Allen, you said the line so kudos to you as well, Mr. Rosso.

Now if you guys ever are bored and want to discuss Nelson's triumphs and tribulations please don't hesitate to reply here. If you ever want to avoid me, well then that's just plain rude!


Now turn this ship starboard -- even if it means this post is no where near a funny destination,
Adam.

Tina Fey has done the impossible!

Yeppers, I have officially caught up on 30 Rock and I'm 99% sure that season one is my favorite. Never has the first season of a comedy show been my favorite (Twin Peaks' season one is what makes me specify genres).

Alec Baldwin was on fire the entire season, I love that the writer's on the show got so much air time, that such a sweet Star Wars reference was made (Captain Needa) and that Tina Fey knocked it out of the park so early in the first inning of prime time television with her writing & acting.

Also big kudos for getting me to laugh super hard when 1) Alec was unsure how to walk while on camera 2) Tina yelling at the writer's via a speech from Designing Women and 3) Alec having to tell his mother how to properly pronounce the name of his ex-wife: "It's not 'Bianca' like 'Sanka,' it's 'Bianca' like 'Willy Wonka!'." <--- I needed those laughs.

Again, I know I'm tardy to the party (I can say that if I want!) but it's just so darn exciting to have a strong premiere season that stands the test of time against the latter four seasons. No, not the group -- although it is quite safe to say that any episode of 30 Rock is way more exciting than any bar of Sherry.


This big girl cries,
Adam.


PS: Yes, I said "darn" earlier -- deal with it!

Similarities, Tangents and Analogies

Since I was young I've always been a huge fan of France and the "Hulk Hogan" of France: Napoleon Bonaparte (after my youthful days of loving Christopher Columbus, The Revolutionary War and of course -- powdered wigs). I wasted years not reading books on him, then I finally got one on his Egyptian campaign and absolutely fell for his nemesis at the Battle of the Nile: Horatio Nelson.

Nelson was an Admiral for Great Britain (France's "Andre the Giant" if you will) and I cannot help but have a greater interest in him over Napoleon and France herself. Both still intrigue me but I already have a long list of biographies to read on Admiral Nelly Furtado. I just love that he wins major battles by taking huge risks (ignoring protocol) and lost the vision in his right eye, his right arm and his life for the Royal Navy -- very badass. What is not badass is that he left his wife for a younger woman, but that's all in the past (nyuk, nyuk).


"Adam, where the hell are you going with all of this?"

Excellent question, super fan, I was winding up to mention things Nelson and I have in common. I guess I did hit a few tangents with my 80's wrestling analogy.

"Oh, that's exciting, do please continue. Also, tangents are a conversation's little vacation -- enjoy them."

Wow, you're wise, dear reader.


[awkward silence]


Anyhoo, Nelson hated anything and everything French yet he knew that he'd need to learn the language to better interrogate prisoners so he picked up a book to master their tongue. Inside said book he wrote that he began learning French on November 1, 1783.

"And that is exciting because..."

That's exactly 200 years before I was born! That's so cool!

"Bitchin'!"

Yep! Other than that we have nothing else in common. But I'm only up to circa 1795 in his biography so there's a chance that we share more stuff like a love for buckled shoes, sugar cane and other crops.

"Insightful as always, Adam."

Thank you.

"So... does France ever body slam Great Britain at WrestleMania III?"

Uhhh... what?

"You had a killer wrestling analogy earlier, remember?"

YES.... of course... I do... France totally body slams G.B. at WMIII and King George gets dethroned by King Haku.



reading excessively so that I can re-write history,
Adam.

Another Favorite TV Scriptwriter

Robert Carlock, you, sir, are a genius. I absolutely love the episodes you wrote for 30 Rock as well as your brilliant Star Wars references.

Only a brave man would reference Captain Needa. A man as brave as Jek Porkins was at the Battle of Yavin when he manned his X-Wing (Red 6) knowing full-well that he skipped his last inspection.

You are an inspiration, Mr. Carlock.


Kisses and hugs and all of the above,
Adam.

Talented AND Respectable?!?!

I know that I am totally tardy to the party (that will be the final time I say that... I promise) but I'm now a huge 30 Rock fan and an even bigger Tina Fey fan. Her writing is simply awesome and I absolutely believe her acting when in character as Liz Lemon. Also, I recently read that she has apparently only had sex with one man in her whole life and that is her husband. Thank you so much, Mrs. Fey, for being the absolute opposite of a Kardashian.

Of course your talent bearing self will most certainly miss out on getting your own reality show on E! but isn't that also worth it in the end? Everyone but Ryan Seacrest may answer!


Never leaving the party that I was originally tardy to,
Adam.

Burt Reynolds Banthas and Banjos

Since the Banjo instrument is synonymous with Duelin' Banjos (the theme from Deliverance), is it also synonymous with forced sodomy? If so, then I wonder if banjo players across the globe spend their downtime wishing that John Williams scored The Empire Strikes Back with a banjo. Of course then the Banjo would be synonymous with incest. Although, orchestras are not synonymous with incest and they were in fact used to score The Empire Strikes Back.

Perhaps the problem here is just the banjo.

Oh well.


Low on ideas,
Adam.

Joan Jett loves Rock 'n' Roll 4EVA

And now a lesson of love through history using the "If/Then" formula:

--February 6, 1982--
Joan Jett releases the hit song I Love Rock and Roll.

--June 25, 1988--
Joan Jett releases the hit song I Hate Myself for Loving You.

Now, IF Marie Osmond is a little Country and her brother, Donnie Osmond, is a little bit Rock and Roll THEN one can only assume that it took Joan Jett six years to hate Donnie Osmond. Whereas it only took me two seconds into that awful song.



Not giving a damn about my bad reputation,
Adam.

And now a post for only the Ophthalmalogists scouring the internet

I love my hip hop as much as the next white guy who watches re-runs of How I Met Your Mother and if I was held at gunpoint, I'd have to say that my favorite member of TLC is OS.

HIYO!

Aint 2 Proud 2 Beg,
Adam.

The Clash: Invested in Wood$tock

Today while driving to class, I saw a Monte Carlo with vanity plates that read: "WDSTCK69." And I got to say, it just didn't make sense nor seem right. Hippies can't be Yuppies.


Stylin' and Profilin' while Drivin' and blastin' Paul Simon,
Adam.